Flattery will get you everywhere

Earlier today I was at the petrol station, filling up my car, when I saw one of the attendants sitting on the curb not three metres away from the nearest pump. They were smoking a cigarette.

I guess they'd seen neither Zoolander nor the numerous signs around their place of work which clearly state "NO SMOKING!"

They'd finished and gone inside by the time I went into pay and I was seriously thinking about saying something. But then they complimented me on my Ants playing Tetris t-shirt and I blushed and said thank you and that was the end of that.

So if anyone every catches you doing something that could potentially jeopardise the lives of a suburban block, just say nice things about their clothes: they won't complain.