Fic: To savour schadenfreude is devilish
Sep. 11th, 2009 12:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bennet_7I wrote 10 Things I Hate About You fic. *head desk*
In my defense it was 2:30 in the morning and I had the flu. I edited it with a glass of wine in hand.
Title: To savour schadenfreude is devilish
Characters: Kat, Patrick
Word count: 1,014
Rating: PG
Summary: Five things Kat never said at the party. Patrick spends the day pulling Kat's leg (no, not the super fun way). Could be considered missing scenes from 1.10.
Spoilers: Set during the season finale.
A/N 1:Technically set on the first day of the uniforms.
i
“You asked me if I wanted to go for a swim.”
She’s concentrating on exiting the car gracefully, so that her new skirt won’t ride up, but his voice is sudden and unexpected and she bangs her head on the door frame.
Red faced (it goes with her new cardigan and tie), Kat grabs her bag from the back seat and turns to face him.
“What are you talking about?”
Patrick’s leaning against a rusted Toyota and she’s slightly thrown when she sees him in a white Oxford and tie. His eyes rake down her body slowly and she resists the urge to fidget.
“Nice skirt.”
“Apparently we’re not allowed to wear pants. If I wasn’t planning on protesting the uniform in its entirety I’d be complaining about the school board’s backward conceptions of gender specific apparel.”
He tries and fails to hide a grin.
“Ok, then.”
They start walking towards the school entrance, a safe distance of three feet between them.
She remembers and asks, “What were you saying about swimming?”
“At your party, you asked me if I wanted to go.”
Kat stops abruptly and Patrick walks a few feet further before stopping and turning.
“No, I didn’t,” she says, calmly, determinedly.
“Yeah, you did and I said yes.” The grin is wide and insufferable.
“No, you didn’t. We didn’t.” Her voice hasn’t gone up an octave at all.
“The water was surprisingly warm and you sang a song from The Little Mermaid.”
“Hah! I would not,” and she snaps he fingers in front of his nose. “I’ve only seen that movie once and I refuse to watch it again because it promotes the idea that it’s ok to give up your species for a guy.”
“I didn’t say you sang it well.”
Kat shakes her head.
“No, no, no, no.”
And begins pacing.
“No, no, no, no.”
He folds his arms expectantly and she has a breakthrough.
“Didn’t happen. My clothes smelt like beer and watermelon and vomit, not chlorine, when I put them in the washer.”
He smiles, turns on his heel, and resumes walking towards school.
Over his shoulder he throws back, “I didn’t say you were wearing clothes.”
Kat breathes deeply and yells after him, “This is you savoring, right? Patrick?! Tell me you’re kidding!”
ii
Between first period and second, he bumps into her in the hallway (on purpose, she’s sure).
“So what did I really say at the party?”
They stop in front of his locker and he switches out textbooks.
Patrick glances at her.
‘“Boxers or briefs?”’
“Didn’t…I…didn’t do that.”
And she walks to second period muttering to herself.
iii
At lunch, she seeks him out.
“Hey, did any of the guys in Auto Shop take a flier? ‘Cause Holland confiscated mine and if they didn’t care I’d like them back. I’m thinking of slipping them into lockers.”
He has half of them in his backpack (no explanation offered) so she sits at a nearby table and begins folding them in half.
He sits beside her with his back to the table and his legs splayed out for all and sundry to avoid.
“I didn’t ask you about you’re underwear.” It’s a statement of fact.
“Nope,” he says anyway before biting into an apple.
They sit in relative silence (he’s still eating that apple and she keeps on moving her piles of paper to stop them fluttering in the breeze) before she tries her luck again.
“Are you gonna tell me? Ever?”
He takes one last bite out of the apple and then throws towards a trash can. It land easily on top of a half-finished salad.
She glares at him, either for having better aim than he’d previously shown or for not finding a way to compost it.
“You asked me if I had a criminal record.”
She sighs. “That does sound like me,” and continues working.
Patrick studies her profile; it’s a picture of concentration as she turns one of the fliers into a crane.
“Not what I actually said though, right?”
“Right.”
She gathers up the folded fliers and heads off towards the lockers. The crane remains on the table: a present, a bribe, or a habit.
He takes it anyway.
iv
Mandella passes her a note during their final period, her eyes wide with fear.
Kat unfolds it when Mr Minchin’s back is turned again. The handwriting she’s only ever seen on her arm.
You said you’d had a crush on me from the moment we met.
This is what Kat’s been dreading.
But, she mulls, I’m a very literal person. Technically we first saw each other in the parking lot and I didn’t have a crush on him then. Didn’t feel anything in Holland’s office but annoyance at the intrusion into my personal space. At lunch, I was just marking my territory, not considering potential romantic partners.
The moment they met is hard to define.
God, she hopes she’s a literal drunk.
v
He’s leaning against her locker at the end of the day.
“Move,” she says and he complies.
With a small smile, “You told me you think I’m adorable.”
She smiles right back.
“See, that’s not even slightly believable. Your stories are getting less and less convincing.”
His focus shifts to his shoes.
“So you got my note?”
She tries to get as much of her upper body as possible into her locker.
“Uh huh.”
When staying that way any longer would look ridiculous, she stops her inspection of the partially removed stickers that cover the inside of her locker and turns to face him.
“Didn’t believe it?” he asks in a low voice.
“Not for a second,” she says quietly.
Their eyes remain locked on each other. Her body wants desperately to lean forward, closer. She closes the locker with more force than is necessary and he steps back.
They walk to the parking lot in silence, eventually diverging with regret and relief. She hears his bike start up. He watches her meet Bianca out of the corner of his eye.
They can’t stay in this holding pattern for much longer.
A/N 2: Title is a quote from Schopenhauer. In full it is “To feel envy is human, to savour schadenfreude is devilish.” I kept the proper spelling in the title because Kat would prefer it that way.
In my defense it was 2:30 in the morning and I had the flu. I edited it with a glass of wine in hand.
Title: To savour schadenfreude is devilish
Characters: Kat, Patrick
Word count: 1,014
Rating: PG
Summary: Five things Kat never said at the party. Patrick spends the day pulling Kat's leg (no, not the super fun way). Could be considered missing scenes from 1.10.
Spoilers: Set during the season finale.
A/N 1:Technically set on the first day of the uniforms.
i
“You asked me if I wanted to go for a swim.”
She’s concentrating on exiting the car gracefully, so that her new skirt won’t ride up, but his voice is sudden and unexpected and she bangs her head on the door frame.
Red faced (it goes with her new cardigan and tie), Kat grabs her bag from the back seat and turns to face him.
“What are you talking about?”
Patrick’s leaning against a rusted Toyota and she’s slightly thrown when she sees him in a white Oxford and tie. His eyes rake down her body slowly and she resists the urge to fidget.
“Nice skirt.”
“Apparently we’re not allowed to wear pants. If I wasn’t planning on protesting the uniform in its entirety I’d be complaining about the school board’s backward conceptions of gender specific apparel.”
He tries and fails to hide a grin.
“Ok, then.”
They start walking towards the school entrance, a safe distance of three feet between them.
She remembers and asks, “What were you saying about swimming?”
“At your party, you asked me if I wanted to go.”
Kat stops abruptly and Patrick walks a few feet further before stopping and turning.
“No, I didn’t,” she says, calmly, determinedly.
“Yeah, you did and I said yes.” The grin is wide and insufferable.
“No, you didn’t. We didn’t.” Her voice hasn’t gone up an octave at all.
“The water was surprisingly warm and you sang a song from The Little Mermaid.”
“Hah! I would not,” and she snaps he fingers in front of his nose. “I’ve only seen that movie once and I refuse to watch it again because it promotes the idea that it’s ok to give up your species for a guy.”
“I didn’t say you sang it well.”
Kat shakes her head.
“No, no, no, no.”
And begins pacing.
“No, no, no, no.”
He folds his arms expectantly and she has a breakthrough.
“Didn’t happen. My clothes smelt like beer and watermelon and vomit, not chlorine, when I put them in the washer.”
He smiles, turns on his heel, and resumes walking towards school.
Over his shoulder he throws back, “I didn’t say you were wearing clothes.”
Kat breathes deeply and yells after him, “This is you savoring, right? Patrick?! Tell me you’re kidding!”
ii
Between first period and second, he bumps into her in the hallway (on purpose, she’s sure).
“So what did I really say at the party?”
They stop in front of his locker and he switches out textbooks.
Patrick glances at her.
‘“Boxers or briefs?”’
“Didn’t…I…didn’t do that.”
And she walks to second period muttering to herself.
iii
At lunch, she seeks him out.
“Hey, did any of the guys in Auto Shop take a flier? ‘Cause Holland confiscated mine and if they didn’t care I’d like them back. I’m thinking of slipping them into lockers.”
He has half of them in his backpack (no explanation offered) so she sits at a nearby table and begins folding them in half.
He sits beside her with his back to the table and his legs splayed out for all and sundry to avoid.
“I didn’t ask you about you’re underwear.” It’s a statement of fact.
“Nope,” he says anyway before biting into an apple.
They sit in relative silence (he’s still eating that apple and she keeps on moving her piles of paper to stop them fluttering in the breeze) before she tries her luck again.
“Are you gonna tell me? Ever?”
He takes one last bite out of the apple and then throws towards a trash can. It land easily on top of a half-finished salad.
She glares at him, either for having better aim than he’d previously shown or for not finding a way to compost it.
“You asked me if I had a criminal record.”
She sighs. “That does sound like me,” and continues working.
Patrick studies her profile; it’s a picture of concentration as she turns one of the fliers into a crane.
“Not what I actually said though, right?”
“Right.”
She gathers up the folded fliers and heads off towards the lockers. The crane remains on the table: a present, a bribe, or a habit.
He takes it anyway.
iv
Mandella passes her a note during their final period, her eyes wide with fear.
Kat unfolds it when Mr Minchin’s back is turned again. The handwriting she’s only ever seen on her arm.
You said you’d had a crush on me from the moment we met.
This is what Kat’s been dreading.
But, she mulls, I’m a very literal person. Technically we first saw each other in the parking lot and I didn’t have a crush on him then. Didn’t feel anything in Holland’s office but annoyance at the intrusion into my personal space. At lunch, I was just marking my territory, not considering potential romantic partners.
The moment they met is hard to define.
God, she hopes she’s a literal drunk.
v
He’s leaning against her locker at the end of the day.
“Move,” she says and he complies.
With a small smile, “You told me you think I’m adorable.”
She smiles right back.
“See, that’s not even slightly believable. Your stories are getting less and less convincing.”
His focus shifts to his shoes.
“So you got my note?”
She tries to get as much of her upper body as possible into her locker.
“Uh huh.”
When staying that way any longer would look ridiculous, she stops her inspection of the partially removed stickers that cover the inside of her locker and turns to face him.
“Didn’t believe it?” he asks in a low voice.
“Not for a second,” she says quietly.
Their eyes remain locked on each other. Her body wants desperately to lean forward, closer. She closes the locker with more force than is necessary and he steps back.
They walk to the parking lot in silence, eventually diverging with regret and relief. She hears his bike start up. He watches her meet Bianca out of the corner of his eye.
They can’t stay in this holding pattern for much longer.
A/N 2: Title is a quote from Schopenhauer. In full it is “To feel envy is human, to savour schadenfreude is devilish.” I kept the proper spelling in the title because Kat would prefer it that way.
