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Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz at Cannes

Johnny Depp is looking better in the face - much less bloaty, still too orange - but I am tired of his gypsy/pirate aesthetic (it's not really bucking convention when it's so predictable) and I am not a fan of how he is wearing his braces (suspenders). Why attach them to your pants if you aren't then going to pull them up over your shoulders and use them for their intended purpose? I think it just looks ridiculous and really dorky from behind. Plus, Johnny Depp is using the loops on his right side to hang a handkerchief which is a) stupid, and b) unnecessary because he's already wearing two pocket squares in his waistcoat! Like, is Pirates of the Caribbean Four: Whatever Something Noun really going to be that sad?

My face looks much like Penelope Cruz's in that first picture - somewhere between bemusement and disdain.

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